USA vs. England: Loser has to claim Madonna as their own

I'll have to keep this one brief. Watched the World Cup draw today with nervous anticipation. The U.S. could not have asked for a better draw. Before the draw began, all I could think about is the 2006 cup, where we drew Italy, Czech Republic and Ghana. Group of Death and a 1st round exit ensued.

Would it be the same in 2010. Fortunately not. The U.S. got paired with England, Slovenia, and Algeria. Not a bad group. Not a bad group at all.

What are our chances? Decent. At least to make it out of the group stage. Slovenia and Algeria are very winnable. Two wins the U.S. will more than likely need to advance.

As far as England? We'll see. It depends on what U.S. team shows up. The side that shocked Spain and came within 20 minutes of beating Brazil, or the side that lost 5-0 to Mexico. (In all fairness, that was our B-squad)

The Brits are already invoking the spirit of 1966. The Yanks are already invoking the spirit of 1950. Maybe I need to throw on a Continental Army uniform and invoke the spirit of 1776.

Finally, whose decision was it to have Charlize Theron host? I love Charlize Theron. Great actress. Absolutely stunning. But having her host a football draw is like getting Rod Blagojevich to teach a class on political ethics. She looked absolutely clueless up there. More cringe-worthy moments than I care to mention.

That was one big dumb blonde joke waiting to happen.