Sie hat ein poopy!

So this week concluded my first official week working as a English Teacher for the Lichtenberger Sprachinstitut. Over the course of Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I taught 16 classes of kids ranging from age 4 with two classes of kids who are 8 years old..or "acht jahre alt" as I would say with my budding German skills. It would probably the most of up and down first week of any kind of job I've ever had. I've had jobs where the first week has been absolute hell (Working at 56 Union in Nantucket) and jobs were I had a good run of things after week one(UofM). But never have I had a job where I was both cursing it and praising it almost every other hour like this one.

If there is one thing that I absolutely hate in this world it is starting a new job. It sucks. It doesn't matter what job I do, I always get that nerve-racking feeling that comes with starting something that you almost have no idea how to do. In this case, I have never taught children. My only experience with kids lately has been my 4 year old Niece, and that's easy. I just play with her and spoil the crap out of her. With these kids, you've got to teach them AND babysit them. Not a good combination for anyone.

The night before I was to work, I was a wreck. My heart was in my throat, and I couldn't fall asleep. I might have managed to fall in that in between period where you know you're supposed to be asleep am somehow still aware of everything. Before I know it, it is 5:30 am and I have to get up to get ready for my first class at 8am. Normally, I would have no business getting up that f'ing early, only my school was nice enough to make my first class AN HOUR AND A HALF AWAY in the small town of Milow.

So already grumpy and hungry from having to rush out on time, I managed to get into my car and get the GPS going. This is the first time I've driven in Germany, so I have no idea what to expect. I think to myself, "Can't be much different than the States". Finally leave Schoenhauser Allee at 6:00am. A good two hours until my first class. Plenty of time to get there, right?

Now, I have to stop this epic story for just a minute. I have been in Europe for close to 3 1/2 months now, two of which have been spent in Germany, and I think I'll take the time to go on my first tirade on the German people. I have found the Germans for the most part, especially Berliners, to be very nice, very gracious people. I have yet to have anyone give me trouble, and it seems like this is one of the few major cities where people don't really have that big city mentality of "if you died tomorrow I wouldn't notice or care". The Germans for sure have their quirks, and over time you do notice them. They are obsessed with punctuality. The trains must always leave precisely when they mean to (Mussolini would have been impressed), and if you ever tell someone you're going to meet them at 4pm, you better damn well be there at 4pm. But ouf course that is not a bad trait to have actually, and from growing up with a dad who stressed professionalism and hard work in whatever you did, I definitely appreciate it. But the thing I have noticed in the last week, and grown increasingly frustrated over, is something that is no different than any other place in the United States:

They are shitty drivers.

I don't know if it's just driving in a big city or just a general lack of that"let's get a move on" mentality that most Americans tend to have, but I found myself screaming inside my car at other drivers for pretty much most of my first week. Taking turns at 2 kpm. Waiting 8 seconds to go through the green light that lasts only 10. (Seriously? 10 second green lights?) For the most part, most drivers I've encountered seemed to have little idea how to drive in snow. But then again, I'm from Michigan, and of the opinion that most people not living in a northern state don't know how to drive anyway. When it's your first week, and your trying to get to schools on time or feel the wrath of your abuse of the punctuality philosophy, it gets to you quick.

So back to the story, I head out for my first class, and of course, I am fortunate enough to be driving there in the middle of a snowstorm that has been going on the better part of two hours. Needless to say, the roads and visibility were a nightmare. I made it to my first class at 8:20, a full two hours and 20 minutes after I had left. It looked light this was going to be a mistake from the get-go.

As I progressed through most of my classes, I found that it wasn't all that bad. The kids, for the most part, are just happy to be there, and give you little to no trouble, as long as long as you are keeping them entertained, which is pretty easy to do. Discipline wise, I never really had too many issues. The 4 year olds for the most part look at you at an authority figure, so they'd often think twice about doing something again once I had asked them to stop it. The 8 year olds, on the other hand, liked to test me. And once they realized how little German I spoke, I think they tried to take advantage of the situation to an extent. But being with someone and showing them you are not happy crosses over into many languages, so for the most part, these kids got the idea and played nice.

The funniest part of the week came on Tuesday, when I was teaching my last class of the day to 12 4-year olds just outside of Berlin. I have them in a circle and going over flashcards when all of a sudden, this girl to the left to me let's out a fart that in terms of loudness probably could only be beaten by a flautulent cow. I could have heard this thing from Denmark. As the class starts cracking up (as children appreciate fart jokes probably more than anyone), the girl next to her turns to the class and screams out "Sie hat ein poopy!" (She has a poopy!) At this point, I f'ing lose it, and for a good 3 minutes, the rest of the class and I are just laughing our asses off.

So much for maintaining that professionalism, but then again, I get paid to sing the Hokey Pokey.

My last class finished on Wednesday, and I felt pretty relieved by it. It didn't go as bad as I thought it would, and it seems like a job that I might actually do well at. I honestly had my doubts as to whether this was the right job for me, or whether I had made the right decision taking it. But I think I have. I don't really have the luxury of being able to pick and choose my jobs anyway. It's pretty simple. Job = Visa. So I'm just grateful to be working after 2 months of being a lazy asshole.

So I get to relax for the weekend. Noel left for the States' today for a week which sucks, but on the flip side, I have friends from Prague coming into town tonight as well as a going away party to attend for a friend who's leaving Berlin for the lovely city of Vancouver.

Great White north, eh?